the irony

It's so ironic how as a people pleaser, I created my ENTIRE identity around making people comfortable and accepted.

Being easy on them, not pushing them too far.

Doing the work to emotionally regulate them.

Talking them down off ledges.

Lowering my expectations so I don't upset or challenge them.

Making myself smaller, so that they could feel better.

When in reality -now that I've done the work- I realized that my entire purpose in life is literally to make people UNCOMFORTABLE

To call them out their bullshit.

To call them out when they're making themselves a victim, when they're giving away their power

To (mindfully) trigger them and hold space for them to move through that trigger and heal beyond it.

To refuse to shrink myself to meet them where they are stuck.

Instead, to hold myself up & show them it's possible for them to rise, too.

It's not helping anyone to cater to their dysfunction or delusion.

I get it. Sometimes it does feel great to be understood and to be validated that it's someone else's fault and that your situation is difficult and that you dont have the support that you need, that it's unfair that you were dealt a shitty hand.

Because it's not fair. And it does suck.

But..you already know that, don't you?

What good does it do for me to nod my head and say, "well, theres no hope for you.. You weren't served the perfect life situation, so you might as well give up and keep feeling like shit every day of your life. What a shame you aren't one of the lucky ones"

It's dangerous to live in an environment that only reinforces to you why it's okay to stay hurt, anxious, powerless and burnt out.

That's not empowerment, that's enabling toxic behavior.

I WANT you to realize how much power you have over your life.

I want you to realize you can change. That your life can change.

I want you to realize you can cut toxic people out.

I want you to realize that sometimes -usually- YOU are the one allowing or creating the dynamic that's keeping you stuck.

& if that takes you being uncomfortable, then so be it.